from a simple decision to solve a problem, led to a hurtful sms tt left me speechless. i stunned at ur msgs for at least 10secs, i realised i have nothing to say to u already.

"wat ever. It seems 2 me the whole evening ure jumping on it. n i dun noie y, whenever i let my tots run, imagine our married life, plans and our future. we are bound to quarrel. it is so demoralising." - 19 oct 2005 01:39:36 (spelling edited)

for the entire night, i asked myself how much i have supported u as ur gf. ever since we got together, i saw u thru all ur different ops, the different occasions wea u might suddenly need to leave to report back camp, ur SRTs, ur monthly life runs where i tell myself i'll make an effort to wake up just to accompany u, ur trip to taiwan, ur wisdom tooth operations, piles operation, ur course now at PA.. etc i dunno what they mean by "always being there for u.." but i think ive done my best.

maybe i haven really done enough, but i still dunno what i have done wrong when i just wanted to know the reason as to y we alwix had misunderstandings because of "network" problem. i wasnt blaming u, i just wanted to find out the root of it and nip it off the bud. and everytime i try to do tt, u think i wanna pick a fight w u. and yesterday, i suppose.. tts wat was in ur mind for a long long time.. and u let it out.

the last time i felt my heart this way was 2-3 years back, i tot i never had to feel tt way again.

my heart sheds crimson tears.

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