Saturday, December 03, 2005
oh yes. breakups are such bummers. we cried ourselves silly, and the pain can be so great or simply beyond description. just these 2 weeks, i experienced friends' joy and pain of getting married and breaking up respectively. just when i was about to lose total hope for a long term relationship, my primary school friend got married at a tender age of 22. nope. not shotgun. pure love for 5 years.
i suppose why we always feel lost the day after the break up is because we no longer wake up to see that particular someone, or no longer think of him/her the moment we open our eyes. our entire day seemed hopeless and you couldnt wait for time to pass any faster. yet, ironically, whenever we reach the night, its loneliness is super sized. each day just passes like that, mundane lifestyle and totally zombified. every phone call or text messages that beep, your heart skips a beat and then the whole sucky feeling returns when you realised it was your mum who asked if you wanted dinner and not him/her.
when it IS him/her, they asked if you wanna meet up for dinner with the rest. *BOO* here comes the question. should i go.. or should i not. and i suppose deep down everyone's heart.. its a i-wanna-go-coz-i-miss-him/her-after-so-long. but yet you plunge into self denial and start asking yourself and people around you if you should go.
so finally you decided to go. after the meetups, you can go somewhere with him/her to sort things out.. or you can just PRETEND you never see him/her and just make things worst for yourself when you return home.
cheers to my pal. he did the former. really at the end of the day, it takes 2. both's level of sensitivity and MATURITY has got an important part to play. its all about sitting down and talking things through and having both accepting the fact that things will never be the same again.
not screaming, shouting, committing suicide, hitting each other. typing that out already seemed so secondary school. having said that, im glad i never did attempt any of the above. we all can feel like its the end of the world, maybe suicide DID come across our minds.. but at the end of the day.. its just not worth it. at all.
something came across me when we had the conversation about how a relationship can turn from a man whom used to love you so much, care for you, buy stuffs for you, nurse you when you are sick, gently kiss you each time u wake up to someone who would say.. i hate you so much, you can go to hell for all i care, fark you la-go away and stop bothering me, and you can go and die if you wanna die so much.
what is it that made love become hatred. that person whom you onced love so much becomes a source of anger for you. that person whom you got so concered for.. became a burden.
so what is it that makes your love for him/her go away and have it generated into something so ugly?
if you truly have loved someone, no matter what him/her did to you.. you will still love them right? i don't know. thats what i think.
time to wear the thinking cap. off to meet my boy.
i suppose why we always feel lost the day after the break up is because we no longer wake up to see that particular someone, or no longer think of him/her the moment we open our eyes. our entire day seemed hopeless and you couldnt wait for time to pass any faster. yet, ironically, whenever we reach the night, its loneliness is super sized. each day just passes like that, mundane lifestyle and totally zombified. every phone call or text messages that beep, your heart skips a beat and then the whole sucky feeling returns when you realised it was your mum who asked if you wanted dinner and not him/her.
when it IS him/her, they asked if you wanna meet up for dinner with the rest. *BOO* here comes the question. should i go.. or should i not. and i suppose deep down everyone's heart.. its a i-wanna-go-coz-i-miss-him/her-after-so-long. but yet you plunge into self denial and start asking yourself and people around you if you should go.
so finally you decided to go. after the meetups, you can go somewhere with him/her to sort things out.. or you can just PRETEND you never see him/her and just make things worst for yourself when you return home.
cheers to my pal. he did the former. really at the end of the day, it takes 2. both's level of sensitivity and MATURITY has got an important part to play. its all about sitting down and talking things through and having both accepting the fact that things will never be the same again.
not screaming, shouting, committing suicide, hitting each other. typing that out already seemed so secondary school. having said that, im glad i never did attempt any of the above. we all can feel like its the end of the world, maybe suicide DID come across our minds.. but at the end of the day.. its just not worth it. at all.
something came across me when we had the conversation about how a relationship can turn from a man whom used to love you so much, care for you, buy stuffs for you, nurse you when you are sick, gently kiss you each time u wake up to someone who would say.. i hate you so much, you can go to hell for all i care, fark you la-go away and stop bothering me, and you can go and die if you wanna die so much.
what is it that made love become hatred. that person whom you onced love so much becomes a source of anger for you. that person whom you got so concered for.. became a burden.
so what is it that makes your love for him/her go away and have it generated into something so ugly?
if you truly have loved someone, no matter what him/her did to you.. you will still love them right? i don't know. thats what i think.
time to wear the thinking cap. off to meet my boy.
♥♥♥
15:46
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15:46
