Thursday, July 02, 2009
lost
maybe alot of new things is happening in my life now, so much so, i feel disoriented. im beginning to feel like im losing control over the things thats happening around me. i have no idea what, i just feel the way it is.
i pen this entry with a new marital status - married.
obviously i had no idea how marriage life is suppose to turn out. before i put the pen to paper, i reckon getting married does not have any significant impact to my life. i mean, life doesnt change after you get married right? we still go to work, we still go diving, we still do our stuffs. you realised 1 mth after you get married, that you are in delusion. marriage DOES change your life.
marriage meant alot more responsibilities and commitment. it means that now the extra dollar that you have has to be put into a savings account for that small 91sqm house that we just bought in toa payoh. it means that you have to stop looking at kate spades and bottegas because u realise u do not have that extra dollar anymore.
it also means that you have to lower your expectations of your partner. i used to think (again, grave mistake..) that maybe life after marriage will turn out more lovey dovey. but no i swear it doesnt. 3 possible reasons, ceteris paribus, im expecting him to pay more attention to me because i am now the WIFE, or he feels that he doesnt need to put in that kinda effort anymore.
or maybe the 3rd reason is the fact that he is crazily obsessed with diving now and crazily busy with work that he has absolutely no time to look at me and say hi. and so, getting married also means that because you are the WIFE, you need to UNDERSTAND that. Girlfriends do not need to understand. Girlfriends use the secret potion called "kick a big unnecessary fuss", *poof*, everything is back to normal. sometimes if the potion works well, you get flowers too.
so, until i get all this things back on track. no, i do not enjoy married life.
today is also the 3rd day into my new job at NT. all's well so far cept for the fact that its a longer travelling distance and i need to walk pretty far to my office at OGS. training at work commenced yesterday and is expected to continue for the next 2 weeks. maybe its also the new job environment and new colleagues that is making me susceptible to new emotions. although i have no idea how this is going to turn out, im determined to make the best out of it. its the only variable here.
my closest friends are also behaving weirdly these days. their thoughts and behaviour is not what i understand them to be. maybe falling in love does make us do crazy stuffs tho i was sure that whilst it would happen to alot of teenagers out there, it certainly wont happen to my group of people. apparently, im wrong again.
so, i guess thats why im disoriented. with the 3 biggest components in my life screwing up. my husband, my job and my friends. i need a bigger 4th component to offset these changes.
let me start looking for it.
i pen this entry with a new marital status - married.
obviously i had no idea how marriage life is suppose to turn out. before i put the pen to paper, i reckon getting married does not have any significant impact to my life. i mean, life doesnt change after you get married right? we still go to work, we still go diving, we still do our stuffs. you realised 1 mth after you get married, that you are in delusion. marriage DOES change your life.
marriage meant alot more responsibilities and commitment. it means that now the extra dollar that you have has to be put into a savings account for that small 91sqm house that we just bought in toa payoh. it means that you have to stop looking at kate spades and bottegas because u realise u do not have that extra dollar anymore.
it also means that you have to lower your expectations of your partner. i used to think (again, grave mistake..) that maybe life after marriage will turn out more lovey dovey. but no i swear it doesnt. 3 possible reasons, ceteris paribus, im expecting him to pay more attention to me because i am now the WIFE, or he feels that he doesnt need to put in that kinda effort anymore.
or maybe the 3rd reason is the fact that he is crazily obsessed with diving now and crazily busy with work that he has absolutely no time to look at me and say hi. and so, getting married also means that because you are the WIFE, you need to UNDERSTAND that. Girlfriends do not need to understand. Girlfriends use the secret potion called "kick a big unnecessary fuss", *poof*, everything is back to normal. sometimes if the potion works well, you get flowers too.
so, until i get all this things back on track. no, i do not enjoy married life.
today is also the 3rd day into my new job at NT. all's well so far cept for the fact that its a longer travelling distance and i need to walk pretty far to my office at OGS. training at work commenced yesterday and is expected to continue for the next 2 weeks. maybe its also the new job environment and new colleagues that is making me susceptible to new emotions. although i have no idea how this is going to turn out, im determined to make the best out of it. its the only variable here.
my closest friends are also behaving weirdly these days. their thoughts and behaviour is not what i understand them to be. maybe falling in love does make us do crazy stuffs tho i was sure that whilst it would happen to alot of teenagers out there, it certainly wont happen to my group of people. apparently, im wrong again.
so, i guess thats why im disoriented. with the 3 biggest components in my life screwing up. my husband, my job and my friends. i need a bigger 4th component to offset these changes.
let me start looking for it.
♥♥♥
00:35
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00:35
